dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
