real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
