Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
