i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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