so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
