dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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