they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
