I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
