It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize