I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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