he wants to bone in the snuggie
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
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