4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Can I color on your dick again?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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