I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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