You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
