I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
