This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
