I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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