Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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