Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Randomize
