It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize