Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
