how hairy? two words: wookie tits
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
