In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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