saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
