Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm too high and old for this...
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize