did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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