I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
