I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Farmville is her only friend.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
