When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Randomize
