What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
