You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
