Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
