i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I enjoy the company of your penis
There are leaves in my underwear?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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