you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
