I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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