Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
