He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
This is my gift to your gina
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
