something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
not ubering you a puppy
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
