well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
