oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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