so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
