Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
