We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
