its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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