How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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