his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Randomize
