Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
