My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
