I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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