so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
