I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize