It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
