He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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