suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Randomize
