so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
