I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
