I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
