Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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