I cockslap morals
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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