When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
