I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I just want nice things and good sex
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Randomize
