Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
