Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
