VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
