I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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