You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
