If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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