Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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