He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
