so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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