I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
