I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Randomize
